Hey Head

How about shutting the fuck up.

It's almost 1 am and I'm tired. I have bronchitis or tuberculosis or something and my lungs are sucking at breathing.

I'm frustrated because my mind won't let me sleep tonight even though I'm exhausted. I lie down and think of sleep coming to me. I've tried counting. In three languages. To 100.

You would think that would be exhausting. It was but it didn't put me to sleep. I want to write poetry because for some reason I keep thinking of poetry tonight but I don't really want to give in to that urge. Maybe a little. Just for you. But I won't.


I went to New Orleans for Ryan's bachelor party and spent an egregious amount of money. I don't use the word lightly. I was there for 2.5 days and spent around $1500. Where does $500 a day go? Not sure, really, I mean. I probably payed for a couple of semesters of community college hahahaha.

Strip clubs are an interesting thing psychologically. I'm not the kind of person who does or says something like, "I would fuck the shit out of that girl." But being in a strip club for an extended period of time really puts those people into a different perspective for me. I could see how a lesser person could get the impression that women are objects and then never let go of it. My opinion of strip clubs and fools is at an all time low.

I'm typing this hanging off the edge of my bed like a bored child and it's killing my wrist. Carpel tunnel here I come. I went to the doctor today and she prescribed me drugs after about 3 questions and listening to my breathing. In and out in 5 minutes. It's fine she gave me an anti-inflammatory for my lungs and an anti-biotic. These will probably help. Maybe I should go back and tell her I have hand pain and need some pain killers, I might get in and out with a hydro script in 5 minutes. Hey-o.

It's quite literally been an age since I've been here.

I can't believe I didn't publish anything on here for almost 2 years. I sort of started writing on my new website but all I've managed to put up to this point is a story about how much I love sufjan stevens, basically.

So let's play catchup for fun.

2013-- Pretty much have no idea what happened that was good that year. It wasn't bad. Just relatively mundane. I started working at Garmin, but you knew that, I covered the first half of that year pretty well. I got in the papers in Kansas City for winning third place at Startup Weekend with an app idea that I'm currently working on putting together now. We're pretty close to finishing it. Hopefully it will be out this summer. That's really it.

2014 was a seriously shitty year. I had an interview with Google that I tanked. My freaking crazy beautiful niece was born, Miss V. Which was terrifying because my sister almost died in the process.

I'll never forget when my brother called me and told me to get there as fast as I could. It was 10pm. I drove all night, 5 hours. I so scared the entire time. She's too strong though. She pulled through like a champion.

I got an interview with Y-Combinator to work on my non-profit electronic medical record for doctor's to take to the third world. We didn't get accepted. That was a fun weekend in California, anyway.

My grandpa died shortly after the interview. Coincidentally I was cooking sopaipillas in my kitchen when I got the phone call. I just cried. I cried and I cried and I cried. I selfishly cried. His funeral was exhausting. My family fought, naturally. I cried some more. My brothers and I got drunk with my Uncle David and he told us stories about growing up with Papo. I miss him.

Robert and Marissa got divorced. It still makes me clench my jaw.

Thomas had a tough year. He was struggling a lot and made some bad decisions. I hope he doesn't mind that it's here. He's alright though, he's better, I think. We don't talk much. I don't talk to anyone in my family much, to be honest.

After all the bad things happened I made a pointed effort to spend time with them in the fall, though, and to go see that beautiful baby. I went to most of the OU home games, even though the season went to shit. It's weird that I can just afford season tickets. It's weird to have money. I don't want it though. I spend it pretty recklessly when I should probably be saving more of it. I have a good time. I would rather be happy, though.

I did go to chicago with my friends for a weekend and saw Death Cab For Cutie, Sylvan Esso, and Handsome family among others perform at the Onion AV Fest. That was a lot of fun. I love traveling. 

Mrs. Crystal got hurt at the end of the year too. She was in a hospice so that's where I spent a lot of my Christmas break, with family visiting her.

Christmas sucks, I think it's become my least favorite holiday. That's not really saying much because pretty much all holiday's have become meaningless. I'm not religious, that knocks out several. I don't see family for most of them, that knocks out a couple more. And a few others just don't really have meaning anymore.

2014 was just a really shitty year overall. I got nothing done. I lost some things. I wasted it. Miss V was easily the saving grace.

I forgot 2014 was also the advent of Goodbye for Life, a playlist that Ryan, Jake and I have collaborated on of songs that make you feel very sad. It's amazing.

This year has a been a lot better, so far, although I feel like I'm a coin on one of those museum coin rolling things. Where you let a corn slide down the little slot and then it rolls around and around and around into it falls into the hole. It feels like the year is going to turn sour but I'm trying really hard for that not to happen.

I took some of my money and started investing a little bit in oil and pharmaceuticals and have actually had ridiculously good luck with that. I'm sitting on like a 30% return on my investment so far. I've learned a lot of things about it. I went to Oklahoma for Miss V's birthday and had a really good time. I bought her way too many presents for a one year old but she was born as my niece so she's destined to be spoiled for life. I found these adorable stuffed animals on kickstarter called fruitimals and so I ordered her some of those too. I'm excited for them to come in. I dote.

I started working pretty diligently on this app and have made quite a bit of progress. I've been working out a lot and riding my bike. I participated in my first running event on St. Patrick's Day, a 4 mile. That was surprisingly fun. I just got back from New Orleans last Sunday night for Ryan's bachelor party, like I said. Insanely fun. I missed my friends a lot and it was really good to see them. I was anxious about something bad happening with all the testosterone but, as soon as I landed and got in a cab all my fucks went out the window and I had a very relaxing and drunk weekend.

I'm finally yawning. That was 45 minutes of straight mind dump. Most of my blogs are posted late at night because I can't sleep and that's what I need. I'm pretty tired now.