2015

Twice in one year; who knew I could write so much?

I watched Stranger Than Fiction tonight for the first time in a long time. Still makes me cry. Still makes me depressed. Makes me want to write, too, though. Maybe if I watched it more often I'd write more.

First snow of the year 3 days before it ends. It's been so unseasonably warm that I thought for sure we wouldn't see that. Here I am writing about the weather. The snow sucks. Christmas is still a shit holiday.

I traveled a lot this year and I wanted to compile a list of all the places that I went.

January:
Although not far I traveled with David and Laura to Lawrence to see Kawehi. The show was pretty good, a lot of jam bands played first and I'm not sure how I felt about that. She was really good though, super cute, my type, I ended up getting to talk with her a bit and get a picture after the show.

February:
I drove to Oklahoma for Miss V's birthday, she turned 1. Can't believe she'll be 2 so soon.

March:
Flew to New Orlean's for Ryan's bachelor party. I wrote about that a bit previously.

May:
Japan! I spent 10 days in Japan for the first time. I went to visit Jake and Alicia while they were finishing up their year teaching English there. I visited Tokyo, Saitama, Uji, Kyoto, and Osaka. I had a blast and I want to go back. There are some pretty fun YouTube videos here.

June:
Toward the end of June I flew to Atlanta and spent the weekend in Roswell and Alpharetta, Georgia for Ryan and Mallory's wedding. It was amazing. I'm jealous them.

July:
In July I went back to Lawrence to see some local bands play, another trip with a few friends that ended up being really fun. Got pulled over on the way back for expired tags (which, side rant tags expire in a specific month in Kansas not a year after you get them so my tags expired like 7 months after getting them.)  The cop was convinced I'd been drinking and made me get out of the car, situation was high anxiety but I ended up not even having to pay for the ticket. The cute ADA in Lawrence threw it out because I literally got my tags renewed the next business day. Yay for being a lawful citizen?

August:
In early August I traveled to Memphis for Kaitie's wedding. Had a good time seeing Jake again, his family is so amazing.

At the end of August I took a trip out to SF to interview for a job. I didn't get an offer but had a good time while I was there. I love seeing Devon and Daniel and just getting to hang out on the coast.

September:
In September I went on an adventure to watch Oklahoma play Tennessee in Neyland. Robert got arrested and I had random makeouts with a girl I met. I got to see Courtney for the first time since I'd been in school. It was actually really fun.  Oklahoma beat Tennessee in double overtime and even though I was supposed to be at the game and wasn't the night ended up being really really good. It was good to see my mom that weekend too.

October:
I flew to Tampa for Halloween. Had a really good time, got to see my friends again and go out and have a really good time including at Gurn's awesome house party.

November:
I visited Atlanta again with some friends to play cards. Had a blast.

I drove to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving. It was good to see my siblings mostly doing well. I worry about Robert a lot even though we don't talk a lot. I should talk to him more. I'll probably regret it later in life if I don't do it now.

December:
I spent Christmas in Mississippi with my Dad. It was good to see him, it had been two years. I don't really care for the season though so that always puts a damper on things. It's crazy to watch families grow, my step brothers have had more kids and gotten divorces and things have just changed so much in two years. It's crazy. 

Going to make a map...

Made some maps:

It has been an extremely satisfying year of travel. There is already a trip to Lawrence January 4th to see (3) Oklahoma play (2) Kansas in Basketball. San Francisco and Oakland on the schedule for January 8th as well. Hopefully it's another eventful year and I have another awesome set of maps at the end of it.

It makes me happy thinking about all the traveling I did.

This year has been a real roller coaster. When I started it I was determined to make all these changes in my life, and that didn't really happen. It did, and then it didn't and then it did again. For instance I set a goal to lose some weight. I dropped 30lbs in 3 months, but I put it all back on before years end. I wanted to complete my app, which I didn't do. I got a lot of work done but I got burnt out at a few months. Working 8 hours at Garmin and then 4 more at night everyday for a few months will shut you down pretty quickly. I ran my first race this year, the St. Patrick's Day 4 mile that they do in Westport in Kansas City. I played disc golf and regular golf (went to a driving range, anyway) for the first time. I played a lot of piano and learned a lot of Japanese, but I'm pretty rusty at both of those things again already. I rode my bike a lot in the Spring and Summer, that was really satisfying. It's surprisingly easy to put in 15+ miles and feel great.

It was a lonely year, but I think that's just what getting older and being single is like. I think my mom probably worries about me a lot. My family can't understand why I don't have a significant other, even Thomas is engaged now.

This next year I want to learn some things and actually retain them, piano, Japanese, programming. I've created a short list of schools I want to apply to get my MBA with a focus in Finance at: Arizona State, Carnegie Mellon, North Carolina Chapel Hill, and of course Kansas, because it's close I think I could get in without even taking the GMAT, which I need for the other schools, I've scheduled the test for March so I need to get to studying.

I need to email a professor about a Japanese course I want to take at the local community college, too. I could ride my bike there but, maybe not in the terrible weather. I've grown a lot mentally and emotionally. I can feel myself getting older though, they say that feeling really starts at 26, I'd be inclined to think that's true at this point.

Maybe I'll find something I'll be good at in 2016.

Hey Head

How about shutting the fuck up.

It's almost 1 am and I'm tired. I have bronchitis or tuberculosis or something and my lungs are sucking at breathing.

I'm frustrated because my mind won't let me sleep tonight even though I'm exhausted. I lie down and think of sleep coming to me. I've tried counting. In three languages. To 100.

You would think that would be exhausting. It was but it didn't put me to sleep. I want to write poetry because for some reason I keep thinking of poetry tonight but I don't really want to give in to that urge. Maybe a little. Just for you. But I won't.


I went to New Orleans for Ryan's bachelor party and spent an egregious amount of money. I don't use the word lightly. I was there for 2.5 days and spent around $1500. Where does $500 a day go? Not sure, really, I mean. I probably payed for a couple of semesters of community college hahahaha.

Strip clubs are an interesting thing psychologically. I'm not the kind of person who does or says something like, "I would fuck the shit out of that girl." But being in a strip club for an extended period of time really puts those people into a different perspective for me. I could see how a lesser person could get the impression that women are objects and then never let go of it. My opinion of strip clubs and fools is at an all time low.

I'm typing this hanging off the edge of my bed like a bored child and it's killing my wrist. Carpel tunnel here I come. I went to the doctor today and she prescribed me drugs after about 3 questions and listening to my breathing. In and out in 5 minutes. It's fine she gave me an anti-inflammatory for my lungs and an anti-biotic. These will probably help. Maybe I should go back and tell her I have hand pain and need some pain killers, I might get in and out with a hydro script in 5 minutes. Hey-o.

It's quite literally been an age since I've been here.

I can't believe I didn't publish anything on here for almost 2 years. I sort of started writing on my new website but all I've managed to put up to this point is a story about how much I love sufjan stevens, basically.

So let's play catchup for fun.

2013-- Pretty much have no idea what happened that was good that year. It wasn't bad. Just relatively mundane. I started working at Garmin, but you knew that, I covered the first half of that year pretty well. I got in the papers in Kansas City for winning third place at Startup Weekend with an app idea that I'm currently working on putting together now. We're pretty close to finishing it. Hopefully it will be out this summer. That's really it.

2014 was a seriously shitty year. I had an interview with Google that I tanked. My freaking crazy beautiful niece was born, Miss V. Which was terrifying because my sister almost died in the process.

I'll never forget when my brother called me and told me to get there as fast as I could. It was 10pm. I drove all night, 5 hours. I so scared the entire time. She's too strong though. She pulled through like a champion.

I got an interview with Y-Combinator to work on my non-profit electronic medical record for doctor's to take to the third world. We didn't get accepted. That was a fun weekend in California, anyway.

My grandpa died shortly after the interview. Coincidentally I was cooking sopaipillas in my kitchen when I got the phone call. I just cried. I cried and I cried and I cried. I selfishly cried. His funeral was exhausting. My family fought, naturally. I cried some more. My brothers and I got drunk with my Uncle David and he told us stories about growing up with Papo. I miss him.

Robert and Marissa got divorced. It still makes me clench my jaw.

Thomas had a tough year. He was struggling a lot and made some bad decisions. I hope he doesn't mind that it's here. He's alright though, he's better, I think. We don't talk much. I don't talk to anyone in my family much, to be honest.

After all the bad things happened I made a pointed effort to spend time with them in the fall, though, and to go see that beautiful baby. I went to most of the OU home games, even though the season went to shit. It's weird that I can just afford season tickets. It's weird to have money. I don't want it though. I spend it pretty recklessly when I should probably be saving more of it. I have a good time. I would rather be happy, though.

I did go to chicago with my friends for a weekend and saw Death Cab For Cutie, Sylvan Esso, and Handsome family among others perform at the Onion AV Fest. That was a lot of fun. I love traveling. 

Mrs. Crystal got hurt at the end of the year too. She was in a hospice so that's where I spent a lot of my Christmas break, with family visiting her.

Christmas sucks, I think it's become my least favorite holiday. That's not really saying much because pretty much all holiday's have become meaningless. I'm not religious, that knocks out several. I don't see family for most of them, that knocks out a couple more. And a few others just don't really have meaning anymore.

2014 was just a really shitty year overall. I got nothing done. I lost some things. I wasted it. Miss V was easily the saving grace.

I forgot 2014 was also the advent of Goodbye for Life, a playlist that Ryan, Jake and I have collaborated on of songs that make you feel very sad. It's amazing.

This year has a been a lot better, so far, although I feel like I'm a coin on one of those museum coin rolling things. Where you let a corn slide down the little slot and then it rolls around and around and around into it falls into the hole. It feels like the year is going to turn sour but I'm trying really hard for that not to happen.

I took some of my money and started investing a little bit in oil and pharmaceuticals and have actually had ridiculously good luck with that. I'm sitting on like a 30% return on my investment so far. I've learned a lot of things about it. I went to Oklahoma for Miss V's birthday and had a really good time. I bought her way too many presents for a one year old but she was born as my niece so she's destined to be spoiled for life. I found these adorable stuffed animals on kickstarter called fruitimals and so I ordered her some of those too. I'm excited for them to come in. I dote.

I started working pretty diligently on this app and have made quite a bit of progress. I've been working out a lot and riding my bike. I participated in my first running event on St. Patrick's Day, a 4 mile. That was surprisingly fun. I just got back from New Orleans last Sunday night for Ryan's bachelor party, like I said. Insanely fun. I missed my friends a lot and it was really good to see them. I was anxious about something bad happening with all the testosterone but, as soon as I landed and got in a cab all my fucks went out the window and I had a very relaxing and drunk weekend.

I'm finally yawning. That was 45 minutes of straight mind dump. Most of my blogs are posted late at night because I can't sleep and that's what I need. I'm pretty tired now.